[b]Movie Of The Week If You Can Stomach Its Bloody Battle Scenes Then This Film, Based On The Spartans’ Battlefield Heroics, Is A Real Must-See[/b]
For years, the male torso was a simple thing. It had two lumps towards the top, and a round, fleshy bit underneath.
Then one day some bright spark (probably one of those European types), discovered that if you sat up and down again a few hundred times, it made your tummy go all sort of corrugated, and women began to swoon at his feet as if he were a character in a Lynx advert.
Those blokes still hoping that the natural order will one day be restored and that women will begin to yearn for a fleshy belly, should steer away from this astonishing action flick. The torsos on display look so chiseled and perfect, they almost distract from the action on the screen. And there’s plenty of that. This is a film written almost entirely in capital letters and green felt-tip pen – an explosion of testosterone and violence.
It’s two hours of men sticking swords in one another and shouting “aaargh”. And it’s ace. Silly, but ace.
One of the greatest tales of military heroism is turned into a heavy metal music video in this love letter to destruction, and while puristsmay weep at the way this true tale of derring-do has been transformed, it’s impossible not to be swept away by the sheer power of the movie.
300 is a stylised version of the Battle of Thermopylae, in 480BC, where the eponymous 300 Spartans under King Leonidas (Scottish actor Gerard Butler) confront the massed Persian army of King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro).
There’s probably a bit more to it than that, but essentially, it’s one battle after another. Body parts splatter and rain down like confetti at a psycho’s wedding, while the greatest warriors in history bang their shields, wave their swords and yell stirring war cries like “we’re gonna cut your lips off”at their enemies.
Lena Headey is scorchingly beautiful as the queen left at home to avoid the lecherous intentions of Sparta’s most devious politician, but this one is all about the boys.
Average Rating: 4.8 out of 5